Vissa dagar…

Visst är det konstigt. Att vissa dagar finns det ingen ork.
Inga marginaler och man skulle vilja sätta sig ner och gråta. Och att någon bara kramade en.

Men efter cancern, så känns det inte som om man kan unna sig en vanlig hederlig-lite-trött-dag. För man är ju så tacksam. Och man vill att allt skall vara på topp. Och det är på topp.
Men ni vet, kanske för lite sömn, kanske lite, för lite mat. Och lite för mycket jobb. Gör att man kan bli lite sliten.
Och det är helt vanligt att det blir så i ett vanligt liv.
Men nu lever ju vi överlevare, inga vanliga liv längre. Ni vet vad jag menar. Ni som sitter i samma sits som jag. Vi lever lite på lånad tid.
Och det ger ju knappast några utrymmen för att ”slösa” bort en endaste dag. Och man vill ju visa sig på styva linan och vara T A C K S A M.
Samtidigt så måste vi ju som alla andra, få känna oss lite trötta. Lite gnälliga. Och lite vanliga.

Jag hade en super bra dag. Med Anna på kontoret, fika med Ellie och lunch med Casey och middag med Nick.

Men på gymet (dit jag promt skulle gå) bröt jag ihop lite. (var är min Titti???)
För jag såg mig i spegeln och jag kände på pilates-bollen och allt kändes bara meningslöst. Vägen tillbaka är fan seg.
Och jag ser ingen skillnad och jag känner ingen skillnad (det gör jag visst, men idag var en sådan dag när jag inte kände, kände det).
Armpressen var tunga och alla övningar var svåra och det kändes inte som det tog.

Löjligt gnällig med andra ord. Men så är det ju för oss alla ibland. Men det är då det gäller att bita ihop och inte bryta ihop.
Jag gick hem och satte mig i sängen. Och försökte sortera upp det jobbiga och det bra-iga. Och så klart. Då är ju allt bra.
Och jag inser att det är kanske lite sömn och lite mat som saknas för att skärpan skall komma tillbaka.
Och ibland tror jag att dagar som de här kan vara nyttigt. För att inse att alla andra dagar är helt fantastiska. Då man faktiskt mår bra. Och om inte de bra dagarna överväger, då måste man faktiskt göra något åt det. Det är man skyldig sig själv. Faktiskt.

Så njut av denna fina kväll!! Jag skall sova nu, för att vara pigg i morgon. Och då är det ytterligare en tävling på gång. Och då skall jag berätta mer om hårvårds-utlottningen. Kram alla fina där ute!!!

bild

Jag älskar den där bollen. Men idag kändes den inte så välkomnande. Allt var bara svårt och jag kände mig som en kinkig unge.

gym_1204

Utfall i 25 meter. Är JÄTTE långt. Jag slog till med 6 kilos hantlar. Eftersom både 4 och 5 kilos var upptagna. Och det kändes vill jag säga. Men nu skall jag ha tillbaka min rumpa. NU tack!!!! :-)))

casey

Och så hittade vi ett nytt ställe på Vasaplatsen. Så goda franska våfflor. Mon dieu, liksom :-))) det blev våfflor och utsökt the till efterrätt.

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